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living memories by ~walkingsoul:iconwalkingsoul:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Dark




It\'s that split-second
that you see yourself
drowning
in the blackened windows
of a travelling bus

It\'s the time
pure hate
stained the thick
stale air
chocking
your tender lungs
with thick tar of
anger

It\'s the moment
you breath
feeling regret
injected
into your veins
intoxicating your heart

It\'s the pain
you felt after treading
on your soul
as it dragged on the floor
in denial

It\'s the time
you rubbed
my blood
away with the
thick petals of a
dying rose
trying to bring it to life
and calm my
raging
wound
©2003-2009 ~walkingsoul
:iconwalkingsoul:

Author's Comments

Description: Let me explain, I love things that arn't normal so I often play around with the format of my poems. This is about memories and they are often painful and so I wanted to reader to feel the pain of these momories and how hard they are to remember. There is also a stanza on war, I bet you can't see it. I tried to make it feel unfinished on purpose, I don't know why though.

Thanks to For letting me ruin your face. I was so taken by this picture that I just had to use it.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconhaliwa87:
~haliwa87 Jul 10, 2003, 1:39:15 PM
i cant see the stanza on war here Confused lol but i really love the images that come to mind when reading this...really wonderful job, i always enjoy reading your work :D (Big Grin) Hug

--
[ H a L i N a ] :bonk:
:iconalwayzdazd:
~alwayzdazd Jul 10, 2003, 2:51:48 PM
Well...I was wrong about which stanza was about war....;) (Wink) But the one I chose DID make me think of war, does that count??? This is an amazing poem, it is out together in a very unsettling, chaotic way (which is good), and that is how memories can come out.....you did an awesome representation of that.
:iconbrandi-dawn-777:
~brandi-dawn-777 Jul 10, 2003, 3:29:06 PM
i think i do... i dunno... it's good ne how
:iconvalar:
~valar Jul 10, 2003, 4:20:35 PM
Ah memory! Ever destorted by emotion and time.
Seen one way then seen another by the same two eyes!

I love this poem!

Thank you for posting :) (Smile)

Valar.
Prophet of Sunshine.

--
They All Sleep. We Just Dream.
:iconxtheravenx:
~xtheravenx Jul 10, 2003, 9:04:15 PM
I missed the war stanza, but it's still very well written.

Ninja Fella Matt Ninja Fella

--
The funniest thing I've read in a while:
chown -R us ./base
:iconsandam:
~sandam Jul 11, 2003, 9:33:40 AM
What stanza on war - Ah well I guess I haven't been here often enough lately so my powers of deduction are waning - BRilliant otherwise +fav

--
We are the poeple our parents warned us about

Nothing pisses non-conformists off more than other non-conformists who refuse to conform to the rules of non-conformity.

When Life gets you down,
Stand up.
Look him in the eyes.
And knee the sucker in
:iconseanmurray:
~seanmurray Jul 11, 2003, 10:28:38 AM
I like this , The first stanza really sticks in my head.interesting disjointed feel , creates a sense of controlled chaos .

:iconbreaking-reality:
`breaking-reality Jul 12, 2003, 6:04:30 AM
It's the time
pure hate
stained the thick
stale air
chocking
your tender lungs
with thick tar of
anger

That stanza made me think of war

but i could be wrong

I usually am.

Very nice. :) (Smile)


--
Samantha J. Ballard
:iconphoenixreal:
~phoenixreal Jul 17, 2003, 11:30:54 AM
Once again a lovely piece by you. I must say, your writing style only improves over time. Great work, and great way of making the reader feel what you are wanting them to feel.

Here's a kiss for you, my love!

--
:blackrose:blessed be~*~phoenixreal:blackrose:

Without the darkness, there can be no light. Without the light, there can be no dark. Between, there casts the shadow. I am that shadow.
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